I See London, I See France...
- Olivia Willats
- Jun 12, 2023
- 4 min read
Updated: Oct 1, 2024
When was the last time someone saw your underpants?
I approach being seen in my “unmentionables” with a mix of elated “ta-da” type pride and pink tinged cheeks of embarrassment. Part of my imagination is able to go a bit wild—I see myself as Marylyn Monroe in the “Seven Year Itch” having my skirt flair up around me as I delicately giggle; ever so alluring.
Of course the voice in my head, let’s call it reality, reminds me all too quickly that reality looked exactly like me balancing my handbag with one hand while on an escalator descending into the tube while my other hand blocked my skirt from twirling up. An especially heavy gust of wind tried to outsmart my free hand, but I was on it. I had my hand shielding and deftly kept my skirt, keeping my cool. I smirked to myself as I stepped off the escalator and just as another gust from a passing train sent the other side unceremoniously up to my waist. The wind carried the back of my skirt as high as it could go, before my free hand could get around. I screeched like a Barn Owl. I didn’t giggle. I wasn’t Marylyn. Then again to be fair, who is like Marylyn? At least that’s what I tell myself.
Reality all too often looks like a skirt caught up revealing a pair of functional briefs, I believe mine at the time were functional cotton with some PINK slogan on them “Booty Call” or “I Believe In Unicorns”. What can I say, it was the noughties.
If it isn’t a random unplanned flashing, it is you in a fit of giggles trying out some sort of sashay maneuver to the bed in a black lace push up bustier that a saleswomen told you was “superrr hotttt” (of course this leads to questions of why would you believe someone who said “super hot” with elongated syllables) . It doesn’t look how it ought to—it just … well for me it’s just funny. It’s just my instinct—to giggle at my inner thoughts.
So you see why I’m torn? Reality so rarely lives up to the expectation.
The issue really is this, when I look at my underwear drawer it falls into one of three categories: comfortable, functional, or special occasion. The comfortable stuff being cotton boy shorts and lacy but comfortable enough for everyday Hanky Pankies (I do rebel and have them in every color imaginable). The functional stuff falls into the realm of beige slips and seamless gear; while the “special occasion" stuff is the goods.
It’s all things that come with garters, eyelash lace, and practically air thin strips of material, pretty fabric in crucial places and no fabric in other crucial places. Personally this has become my favorite category, predominantly because I like pretty things, and I like having a little mystery under my clothing.
Fleur du Mal Hanky Panky Rigby & Peller
So then what is the deal with underwear? And why do we never talk about their role in personal style. After all, isn't it the foundation of an outfit?
I will say this, I do like knowing when I’ve got my situation situated under my clothes, you know in case of gusts of wind, or I need to feel like Anna Wintour in a business meeting, just in case of impromptu flash mobs that require me stripping down to my bra for a dance number, or if I happen to meet let’s say Carlos Sainz and he’s all like “me you and some lovely memories”. At least it provides the opportunity to be cool and Marylyn like in the crucial moment.
I’ve narrowed it down to a few basic rules, to find that balance between my inner porn star and my past life as a nun:
1. I don’t care if it's comfy, get rid of it when it's faded or worn, just like you would with normal clothing. If it has pills or is frayed at the edges… it may feel good but it doesn’t look good. And if it doesn't look good...then what are we even doing it for?
2. If you can – purchase in sets. It’s not about dressing up it’s about simplifying. I’ve started doing this, and can’t express how simple it makes everything. Even with individual pieces, I buy coordinated pieces. Currently I am obsessed with Fleur Du Mal & Thistle and Spire.
3. Don’t ever buy anything for someone other than yourself. If I don’t feel confident I’m not going to magically become confident in it, neither will you. Don't get anything that requires additional tugging or pulling, checking or taping... it isn't serving it's purpose then.
4. Have the essentials that are functional, but function doesn’t mean boring (unless that’s your jam in which case if you work it then work it hard) – for instance, shape wear from Rigby & Peller is pretty great but it also looks amazing
5. Don’t prescribe to labels. Just because it’s bright doesn’t mean it's young, just because it's plain doesn’t mean it's old. Just because it has lace doesn’t make it sexy and just because it’s cotton doesn’t make it dowdy. What its all about is what you are comfortable with…and how you feel translates to how you wear. Always.
Then again, why are you taking my word for it… I’m the one who flashed the whole of the Jubilee Line, on accident, not really a stellar recommendation is it?
x Olivia
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